Get Up, Stan Up

But wait! I can’t leave you thinking that Kazakhstan is a landlocked, empty, nuclear-tested, freezing cold armpit of the former Soviet Union!  I spent two nights in Astana, the capital of Kazakhstan (since 1997).  I only have pictures from the outskirts of town, but imagine a Soviet-style mix of Reno, Fargo and Orlando with a dash of sass and class.

Next, I went to Almaty, which felt like a magical wonderland of amazingness.  Specifically, it had trees, sun, mountains and DIET COKE!

View from Kok-Tobe/Green Hill

 Panfilov Park

View from Respublika Alangy

Relative expectations regarding beauty due to previous travels in Kazakhstan notwithstanding, Almaty was beautiful.  Looking south from almost anywhere in the city, you can see the snowcapped Zailiyisky Alatau mountains, which are a spur of the Tian Shan Range (the chain that goes from southwest Kyrgyzstan into China, which of course I didn’t have to look up and no, I didn’t look up the spelling of Kyrgyzstan either, I just know how to spell sweet words like that off the top of my head). And, if you’re willing to spend 25 minutes negotiating with a so-called taxi driver (see below) and his English speaking friend via cell phone (“Tell him that’s ridiculous” “He says if it’s ridiculous you should name another price” “Tell him I want him to tell me what his best price is, and it better not be more than half or what he originally quoted” “He says he’ll only wait for you for an hour for that price” “Tell him fine, I’ll just take the bus” “He says there is no bus” “Tell him a friend told me there is a bus and that it costs T200” “He says fine, he’ll take you for T4000” “Both ways?” “No, one way” “But that was his starting price?! ”…you get the picture…), you can even go up into the mountains and re-live your previous Grand Forks Central High School varsity precision ice skating team glory at Medeu ice rink.

Medeu ice rink, training ground of speed skating champions, with Chimbulak ski resort in the background

Most of the rest of my days were spent walking around and getting dirty/surprised looks for not knowing any Russian.  I mean literally I walked everywhere. Very few taxis exist in Kazakhstan - if you want a ride somewhere you usually just stick your arm out into the street and get into whatever car is the first to stop.  My memories of third grade tell me that McGruff would not be happy with this situation. There are no meters (even in the "real" taxis), so you have to negotiate the price with your "taxista" aka random dude who picked you up. In Russian, natch.

Rare Kazakh taxi.

A few sights from my many, many walks.  Captionless pictures indicate that I have no idea what is in the picture.

 Green Market/Zelyony Bazar

I also spent some time looking for a leopard skin coat.  Oh - BLAMMO - Found one right away!  On Gogol Street, naturally, the Rodeo Drive of Kazakhstan.

Zenkov Cathedral in Panfilov Park.  According to Lonely Planet, Kazakhstan is about 60% Muslim and 40% Russian Orthdox.  But, the Central Mosque was under construction so this is the only religious-themed picture you get.

I had a great time in Almaty.  If you are ever forcibly sent on a work-paid trip to rural Kazkhstan that requires numerous stops to get there and one of them is Almaty and the timing works out so that you can stay the weekend and you didn't have any other major plans anyway, I highly recommend that you do so.